Gari langu linaloangama limejaa na mikung

Steve leaves on Sunday for Africa - he is climbing Kilimanjaro and has been planning this trip for several months.  For some strange reason it had completely escaped my attention that whilst he is away for 17 days only 5 of those will be spent climbing the mountain.  It never crossed my mind to wonder what he might be doing in the twelve days prior.  It turns out he is pretty much going to be on safari.  He is staying here:

And will be enjoying this:

 If he can tear himself away from the spa or the elephant spotting walks!  And there was me worrying he might be roughing it.  Please be aware that this is only one of a raft of rather fabulous Tanzanian safari hotels he will be staying in and he will be driven to them all by his own armed driver.  An armed driver who will be aware that the soft English tourist is carrying a very very large amount of US dollars, in cash.  Lets hope armed driver is well paid.  Or he might just decide to relieve said English tourist of his cash and feed his body to a hippo.  

Steve has now started to stress about the trip, he had a mad five minutes this morning when he thought he needed a Visa for Kenya as he is landing in Nairobi before flying into Tanzania, a quick phone call sorted that one.  He has also started having stressy dreams, some of which are quite brilliant!  Last night he dreamt that he was leading a party of elderly ladies out of the toilets of a Paris railway station, on the first leg of a long journey.  The correct route was up a very steep hill but as the ladies were elderly and he was concerned for them he led them down a lower, less steep route, even though he knew it was the wrong way.  Which demonstrates that he is both stupid and considerate in equal measure.

Whilst Steve is off enjoying his Kilimanjaro moment, I will be enjoying 2 weeks peace and quiet, with a great big pile of books and a never ending supply of cake.  I wish.  I will be running the guest house and doing my day job and the only concession to Steve's absence will be that dinner will be red wine and crisps every night.  As you might imagine blogging is likely to be thin on the ground, but drunk tweeting may reach a new high!

In case you were wondering the title of this post is a phrase in Swahili that I thought Steve might find useful, should he ever find himself in the awkward situation of having a hovercraft that is full of eels.