Thursday, 21 February 2013

Dead in the water

Not me, I'm happy to say, but my blogging mojo. It is currently swimming up to a pool bar in a hotel in the Caribbean to order another Long Island Iced Tea, would send a post card but it cba and is hoping it never has to come home.

I have started a new project which I am calling "operation look like Nigella" Well, I was til she wore that God awful Preen dress, I was more after Nigella poured into Vivienne Westwood or her current fave Wiggle dress than something that would look better on a bonfire.  

I'd quite like my "curves" to be top and bottom and separated by a "waist" again.  To be honest am having a massive mid-life crisis about my ever increasing age, Queen Canute?, and I can't bear the thought of being old AND fat.  So I am working on the fat bit and hoping I can hide the old with an extra slick of concealer, a bloody good bra and regular trips to the hairdresser.  My one real concern is that 10 years ago I thought I looked like ten types of crap, now I wouldn't care how I looked, I'd just like to be ten years younger.  Reality is that in another ten I am going to wish I was me today, when the me of today is striving hard to be the me of yesterday.  See now why I drink, you try keeping all that in order.

So blogging is taking a back seat for the time being.  I'm sure I'll be back and I hope when I am there will be less of me, but I've been here before so who knows?!

17 comments:

  1. Oh Deb, this is so me at the moment too, think I might start drinking! Good luck to both of us before another 10 years pass us by :) Jude xx @jadlgw

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    1. Lol, I want to be calm and rational about it, but it's not happening. It scares the crap out of me, mainly because there is nothing I can do to stop it. It is horrible isn't it. xxx

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  2. I hear you. I think all the blogging mojos have arranged a huge winter solstice after party and forgotten to invite us. Rude!

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    1. Very rude!! Glad I am not alone with this! xx

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  3. I feel your pain Debbie xx

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  8. Fuck me you've read my mind, obviously not about you but about ageing in general. I didn't want to be 42 and fat but here I am. I don't know about you but seeing all these other younger bloggers snapping at my heels just makes me feel like crap sometimes. In many ways I'm more confident than I used to be in my 20's and in other ways I just wish I could disappear.

    Something happened in my 30's that totally derailed my beauty mojo, blogging has helped a lot but something is still missing.....

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    1. I think lots of us feel the same way tbh. I could cry when I think about the years I wasted worrying about how I looked, when what I should have done is moved my fat ass and kicked it into some half way decent shape so that I wasn't unhappy and could actually enjoy those years, which are so fleeting. Hindsight; it's a bitch. I have actually now reached a point where I am happy to lie about my age - I am 47 in May. That's nearly 50. 50 is not sexy, attractive, witty or fun, no one lusts after 50 year old women. No one even sees them. 50 is just plain fucking old. All my life I have needed other peoples approval so that I know I exist. If I'm so old I'm invisible will I stop existing?

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