Monday, 25 July 2011

Negativity

Had mentioned to OH was blogging about the guest house and how my next post, a letter in response to a horrid review on a travel review site, was writing itself in my head, couple of hours later and in the midst of our daily row he pointed out that I needed to get my head in order and should stop being so bitter about the guest house.  Had a meltdown, deleted several partially written posts and cancelled my twitter account.  Then realised that perhaps where I had gone wrong was not actually writing the blog posts, which could be viewed as cathartic, but by telling HIM I was writing them. So shhh! here's that letter I mentioned!

Dear couple from Horsham,
Thank you for your recent review of our guest house in which you expressed consternation at the fact that the duvet cover in  your room did not match the curtains, which has apparently had a dreadful affect on your aesthetic sensibilities and completely ruined your 4 night stay in West Yorkshire.

I notice that you have reviewed 5 guest houses in West Yorkshire, all of which, with one notable exception, you have found wanting.  May I respectfully suggest that perhaps you holiday only in West Sussex and allow the hard working hoteliers of Halifax and Huddersfield to go about their business without having to invest undue amounts of time in matching their soft furnishings.  The guest house that you have reviewed in glowing terms, going so far as to compliment on the owner on her "tasteful eye for decor" (she was no doubt thrilled to be praised by such an arbiter of good taste) has 3 suites which cost £110 a night.  The other four accommodations which you found "tired" and "mismatched" charge an average of £70 a night, some like ourselves at £55 per night, charge much less.  Therefore might I also suggest that you align your expectation with the amount you are prepared to spend.  If I was charging £110 a night you can be assured that my fripperies would be both tasteful and matching, in fact for that money you could probably email me in advance and request the exact shade of chintz you would prefer.

In your review you made no mention that for the duration of your stay you were untroubled by our 2 dogs, having mentioned when booking that your husband had had an "unfortunate" experience last year with a dog in a guest house, you didn't elucidate but having met you I can quite imagine how he might have been led astray.

I would recommend in future that when you are booking holiday accommodation that you provide your hosts with a list of acceptable colour schemes for their interior decor.   You might also suggest they employ the services of an expert in Feng Shui prior to your arrival, lord only knows what sort of review you might write were your chakras to be misalinged by the unfortunate postioning of a mirror.
Yours
Tasteless guest house owner.

The offending room!

10 comments:

  1. Oh, I LOVE your letter. Flipping fantastic.

    Very well done. ;0)

    xxx

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  2. "If I was charging £110 a night you can be assured that my fripperies would be both tasteful and matching, in fact for that money you could probably email me in advance and request the exact shade of chintz you would prefer" LMAO!!!! Best blog post EVER. Hope it made you feel better, I certainly got a chuckle out of it ;o) x

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  3. There are so many idiots about, I do think that most people who read review sites don't tend to take much notice of loons like them if most of the others are favourable.

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  4. Really good article, it opend my eyes, many thanks!

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  5. I like your letter ;) I think there are people who complain about all and everything and are never satisfied x

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  6. Ha ha haaa!!! What loons! There are some people that have not have a good holiday unless they have found fault in something. I believe it provides more mileage when recounting their holiday to others!

    My OH saw a similar review to this on a camping website this weekend, whilst looking at the reviews for a campsite we know and like. Amidst all the glowing reviews there was one that moaned on about imagined faults. It was quite obvious when you looked at their other reviews, that they were born moaners. Maybe they're even related from matchy-matchy of Horsham?!

    Eff 'em, I say!! ;)

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  7. grr how annoying!
    for some reason i never actually realised you're in the huddersfield area, my mum's side of the family all come from up there, Dalton if you know it? You'll regularly find me pounding the streets of huddersfield -- love the Boots! xx

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  8. Hi all, thanks for the comments! Glad you liked the letter, it did me the world of good to write it, I feel much better!

    Sophie, Em has a friend who lives in Dalton so I spent quite a lot of time dropping her off there!
    xx

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  9. Fripperies! What a brilliant word, I need to think how I can use it in sentence.

    You rock! :D

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  10. this is to show you how late i am in commenting. this letter sounds as amazing as the first time i read it. needs to be framed lol. you go girl xx haha xx

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Would love to hear from you, I always read comments and reply and I love not feeling like I am talking to myself! dx

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