Is there anybody out there?

Started typing this post a week ago, but that was after 2 glasses of wine and was worried it was sounding rather pathetic and maudlin so deleted it!  

First off it's important that I state that my primary motivation for writing this blog is that I am a rather self-opinionated make up obsessive who has spent 34 of her 44 years striving to look her best and whilst I really liked reading other beauty blogs I wanted to have my say, in my own small way.  My Mum and Sister and some of my friends have generally asked my opinion on all things cosmetic and I was sending regular weekly emails to them telling them what I had found that was working for me that they might like to try and then decided that writing a blog would be a good way of doing that so they could check if they wanted rather than being beauty spammed by me and it would act as a diary for me to refer back to. Reading that last bit back I wonder if my use of inordinately long and unweidly sentences could be at the root of my problems. Must. remember. to. punctuate. 

And quietly, although it shames me to admit it, I rather hoped my blog would be popular and well read.  


Blogging is a bit weird in that respect.  You can do it anonymously, never comment on anyone elses blog and just lurk out there in the ether all on your own.  But I don't think many people blog like that, after all it's not known as a blogging "community" for nothing.  The whole point of blogs is that you share your opinion on a subject and random strangers get to tell you you are wrong/stupid/fantastic/an inspiration.  I used to labour over posts for ages and write in my "This is the Bee Bee Cee World Service" 1950's perfect ennunciation voice.  Which read horribly and felt totally false.  I have no discernible accent and for that reason alone am considered a bit posh by anyone that doesn't really know me (a bottle of sauvignon blanc soon clears up that misunderstanding) but in reality I swear like a trooper and I really struggle to write how I speak for that reason; no one wants to read a post littered with expletives, although I would be interested to know what people would consider acceptable or excessive.  This could be the subject of a whole other post so maybe I'll leave that there.


Back to the whinge about only have 19 followers.  Now I am the first to say 19 perfectly lovely, much valued followers is without a shadow of a doubt around 19 more than I deserve, thank you ladies.  But I look at loads of other blogs and have yet to see one less well followed and it makes me wonder if I am doing something wrong?  See, this is where this gets tricky, this is not me asking the few people that regularly leave me comments to comment saying "aw, we don't think you are utterly shite, chin up chick" although feel free if you want to!  But if anyone who is blogging and has worked to make their blog better read has any hints or tips I would love to hear them.  I do make an effort to read logs of blogs and to comment when I can as I appreciate that helps, I have frequently clicked on the blog of the person who commented above me to see what she is all about.


I heart cosmetics is very generously offering space on her blog to new and less well read blogs for a bit of shameless self-promotion and with her nearly 2000 followers that is a terrific gesture.  Needless to say I have asked for an opportunity to be featured, although given the sheer number of responses it may well be 2015 before she gets to me!


I did try a giveaway to increase my followers, only 3 people entered!!  It was a crap give away though and from that I learnt that if you aren't going to do it well its probably best not to do it at all!

And then I wonder why do I want more followers, am I so needy that without the validation of total strangers I don't feel there is any value to what I am doing.  Errm, yes I think that might be the case, god I am pathetic.


If you have ever blogged and had similar concerns I would love to hear from you, or did you all just do it as an outlet for you with no care about whether anyone else read it?  


Now what would be really funny would be if this post got no comments at all.


Tumbleweed moment in the blogsphere.